i permit you to call me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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