My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize