the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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