I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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