My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize