there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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