dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
love makes seman taste better
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize