ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
