UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
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I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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