A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
