he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
