I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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