well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
