gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
