I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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