It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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