Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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