His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
