i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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