god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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