you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
