are you still at the devil's house?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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