I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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