11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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