i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
