And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
