im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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