I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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