Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
