do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
