i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize