Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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