just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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