Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
