My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
