Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
handjob tips. give me some.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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