trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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