Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
