If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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