i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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