Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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