fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
