u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
