white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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