I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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