it hurts more in the daytime
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
