I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
