You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Actions speak louder than pants.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
