Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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