I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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