yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
