I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
