I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
