I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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