I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize