just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
